Gender Bender Blender

As one would guess, the “ObamaCare” legislation contains all sorts of predictable liberal gobbly-gook. For example, this, from CNS:

HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius is required by the proposed law — The Affordable Health Choices Act,which was voted out of committee on July 15-to create a database within one year of the law’s enactment that will include detailed information about those who sign up for government-run or supported health care programs, including their race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, language and disabilities.

The proposed law states that the database can use the Office of Management and Budget “standards for race and ethnicity measures.”

But for the collection of “gender” data, instead of using the categories “male” and “female,” the legislation calls for “developing standards for the measurement of gender.”

Now, this is going to be a complicated process, isn’t it? The Conservative Hideout does believe in helping out and doing it’s “fair share”, so here is the official Conservative Hideout list of possible genders for teh gubbermint:

1. Male

2. Female

3. Bi-Sexual

4. Tri-Sexual

5. Pan-Sexual

6. Asexual

7. Transsexual

8. Confused-Sexual

9. Too-ugly-to-be-sexual (Unless there’s beer involved, and lots of it.)

10. Tree hugging hippie (why stop at hugs?)

11. Porn Star

12. Even worse, aspiring, yet out of work, porn star.

13. The child molester posing as the hawt chick you’re chatting with on Myspace

14. Drunken sorority babe at frat party (If you Google this…well…you know).

15. Paris Hilton

16. Internet Porn Addict

17. Trailer Trash (He was only mah second couzin!)

18. Eunuch

19. “I don’t know, like, I was sooooo drunk…..and they were sooooo hawt, and I can’t remember the rest…but this other dude, like, had a camera…”

20. MILF

21. Jerry Springer (or other similar “freak show”) Guests

22. Easy

23. Effortless

24. Slut

25. Prostitute

26. Anna Nicole Smith (Like the last two, but with a boatload of money- and dead)

27. Furry (If you Google this, you will be offended! BE WARNED!!)

28. Plushie (Infinitely worse than the last one. This one will ruin childhood memories!)

29. Spring Break (Enough said?)

30. The idiot that fills in the “Sex” space on a form with the word “YEAAAAAAAAH!!”

31. You, if you actually bothered to read the entire list.

No thanks are needed gubbermint, though you can send $10,000,000 to my account. Just send some of that Porkulus money that isn’t being used on jobs. Oh wait, that’s all of it!

Feel free to suggest more answers for the list!