Brutal Civil War Rages on Island of Misfit Toys

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For years Santa had stopped at the Island of Misfit Toys.  But no more.

“I wouldn’t go near that place anymore” said Santa.  “It’s more dangerous than Mexico, Afghanistan or Detroit.”

The culprit is politics.  For years the Island of Misfit Toys had been ruled by King Moonracer (pictured here),King Moonracer, who has never read the Federalist Papers an absolute, hereditary monarch.  But not all were happy with his rule.  Chief among them was Charlie-in-the-Box (seen here.) Charlie in the box fights the powerCharlie, who sees himself as the Island’s resident intellectual, had taken to reading the Federalist Papers and the Declaration of Independence.  Dissatisfied with his position as a subject he began to push for more civil rights and liberalization of the Island’s political structure.  As Charlie said in a manifesto he had plastered throughout the Island:

King Moonracer says he is a benevolent king.  But where is our right to vote?  Where is our right to peacefully assemble and redress grievances?  Our taxes are too high.  His Secret Police spy on us. He has an insatiable sexual appetite and uses our Island’s virgins including Dolly for Sue (pictured here)Dolly just wants to be loved for his own pleasure.  And to top it off, he’s a Red Sox fan.  Fight the power!  Up with the Republic!

Needless to say the manifestos did not sit well with King Moonracer.  Unable to arrest Charlie-in-the Box, who had gone into hiding with the I.M.T.R.A (Island of Misfit Toys Republican Army), Moonracer arrested the polka dot spotted elephant (seen here in an undated file photo)The Poka Dot Elephant, an innocent victim of political violence and had him tortured to reveal Charlie’s whereabouts.  As the elephant’s toenails were ripped off, his trunk turned inside out and electrodes attached to his genitalia, his pathetic screams could be heard around the Island.

Reaction from the Republican Army was swift.  Dozens of the King’s Secret Police were shot.  The King, in an incident now known as “Bloody Sunday“, retaliated by having his troops fire on a crowd watching a soccer match.

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As atrocities rage on both sides the fighting shows no signs of letting up, despite offers from the King of a truce, with free bread and posters of David Ortiz to those who accept his pardon.

Currently 60% of the Island is controlled by Republican forces while the other 40% is held by King Moonracer and his loyalists, including Dolly for Sue, who escaped past Republican road blocks to reunite with her lover.

“All I’ve ever wanted is to be loved” Dolly said in a farewell message to Charlie-in-the-Box. “King Moonracer loves me and he is kind to me.”

The I.M.T.R.A. for its part has declared Dolly a traitor and sentenced her to death “In absentia.”

The U.S. State Department has issued an advisory warning its citizens against traveling to the Island of Misfit Toys.

President Obama has called for a “Two state solution” with the Island partitioned into Republican and Loyalist sections.

Original Post: Manhattan Infidel

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Liberals Lies: Stalin Committed No Crimes

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We’ve been covering the fact that liberals always blame something or someone else for their failures.  It also appears that they are busily attempting to cover up the atrocities committed in the name of “social justice.”  The following is a video showing a professor proudly claiming that not only did people not die under communism, but that old Joe Stalin was a really neat guy…

It’s easy to ignore history when you deny it.  But it still means that you get to relive it’s mistakes.  These people are no better than holocaust deniers…and they are “educators.”

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Great Lessons in Blogging: Take a Look at the Source Before Hitting “Publish”

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We’ve all been there before.  We see a really cool looking headline, and go into a frenzy in order to publish it.  After all, you want to get to it before Verum Serum or The Other McCain manage to post it.  So, you hurriedly get a post together, and hit the publish button.  But, there is something wrong.  Take this headline, for example…

Occupy Wall Street Using Prostitutes to Deter Rapists

For a guy whose spent the last few weeks beating OWS to death with the truth of their own nature, I would hit this like the fist of an angry god.  But, there is a reason I won’t run this story.  The original article comes from The Daily Rash.  Here are some of their other headlines…

Michael Moore “Pretty Sure” He Experienced Erection During TSA Pat-Down

Two Women Say Herman Cain Beat Them Senseless with a Frozen Turkey

Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece Arrested, Held Without Bail

Biden Warns Students: Without Jobs Bill You Could be Sodomized like Gaddafi

Get the point? The Daily Rash is obviously a parody site. But, there are people on Facebook, and on blogs, that ran with the prostitute story. While I wouldn’t actually put that past the Occupods, I’m certainly not going to publish that as a serious post.  That, and Manhattan Infidel and Snarky Basterd provide the comic relief around here.

Look, I’m certainly not setting myself up as the paragon of blogging virtue.  I’ve committed more than my share of blogging atrocities, but I do try to look at the source.  We do ourselves no favors when we post incorrect information, and it provides aid and comfort to the enemy.

So, before you hit the “Publish” button, check the source.  And, good luck with beating Verum Serum or The Other McCain to the punch, you probably won’t.  Even if you do, you’ll probably find that Breitbart published it twelve hours earlier.

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