Earth First Calling for Creepy Mock “Assasinations”

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Um, sometimes, even Moonbats do something that is so creepy…well, it’s really creepy.  Case in point, Earth First (just think of them as outspoken, yet cowardly militant tree huggers).  They recently published a “hit list” for mock assassinations.  Moonbattery has the details…

The libs avoid conspiracy charges by stopping a millimeter short of actually advocating murder:

Let us say clearly, this is not a call to undertake assassinations of the elite scum who are pillaging the planet and enslaving the populace — but not because we think that is a bad idea.

And it’s also not because we think killing CEOs and lobbyists is negative PR either. In fact, most everyone hates these creeps, and many would applaud their demise. Some would even be so enthusiastic as to make a bid on the assassin’s old underwear if given the chance in a government auction, as we found out last year, when the State sold off Ted[ Kaczynski]’s personal belongings to further enrich the family of Unabomber victim Thomas J. Mosser, executive of corporate marketing giants Burson Marsteller. [See EF!J Vol. 31, #2]

We are not calling for the assassinations of CEOs and lobbyists primarily because those [EXPLETIVE DELETED] are disposable and replaced with relative ease. Whereas eco-revolutionaries like us are still far and few between, and someone getting popped on that sort of charge it could pull them out of the game for a long time.

So instead, until the police state and prison industrial complex is weakened, thus leveling the battlefield a bit more, we propose a campaign of “prank assassinations.”

This involves various acts intended to let people know they are vulnerable, and well hated — even that we wish they were dead.

Suggested “prank assassinations” are juvenile stunts that characteristically involve feces. But if one of the mental cases who comprise this movement gets carried away and kills someone, so much the better. Earth-rapers allegedly deserve to die for making the lights come on when we flip the switch.

So, they collect information on where their targets live and work, and invite their moronic cadre of tree huggers to target them.  Of course, the first thing this does is send the message of “we know where you live.”  But, I think the more sinister note is that the left has a history of carrying out assassinations at an appointed time.  It is a part of the playbook.  Of course, the useful idiots conducting the assassinations often don’t know that they are next of the list, because they know too much.

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Earth Day 2012: Mythical Creatures Plan Protest

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Here is another classic CH 2.0 post in honor of Earth day 2012.  

I recently received a message from none other than Bigfoot!  Not wanting to miss an opportunity for a good story, I decided to interview him.

Me:  Hello Bigfoot, thanks for contacting me.  BTW, do you go by Bigfoot?

Bigfoot:  Thanks for answering, FYI, my name is Bill.

Me:  Mmkay, Bill it is.  What was the reason for contacting me?

Bill:  Well, we’re planning a protest.  We’re tired of being compared to something so ridiculous, that we end up looking bad.

Me:  OK then, I have a couple of questions then.  Who are “we?”  and what are you being compared to?

Bill:  “We” are a variety of different monsters around the world.  So far, we have Nessie, Champ, and the Yeti on board. What we are opposed to is the whole notion of Man Made Global Warming.   It is infuriating to be compared to something that is being disproved every day!  Don’t these idiots realize that the Earth is cooling?

Me:  So, your issue is the lack of evidence?

Bill:  Absolutely!  There are pictures of Nessie, Champ, and myself.  There are eyewitness sitings of all of us.  There are footprints of myself and the Yeti-he’s my cousin, by the way.  What is there of Global Warming?  Falling temperatures??  It makes us all look bad!

Me:  I see.  What do you intend to do?

Bill:  Initially, we we going to eat environmentalists, but we changed our minds.

Me:  How come?

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Bill:  I ate a earth first terrorist once.  Did ya know that most of them are vegans?  He tasted terrible, and I had terrible gas for days!  Even the other monsters avoided me!  As you might guess, there’s no dosage of pepto or beano for a guy my size.  I just had to suffer through it.

Me:  So what’s your plan?

Bill:  Well, we’re going to hold marches and protests, but the MSM won’t cover it.

Me: ORLY???

Bill:  Yeah, they said they’d rather cover a myth that fits their agenda rather than one that can be proved correct.

Me:  Typical… sad, stupid, but typical.  We’ll cover it though.  By the way, what about the chupacabra?

Bill:  Well, there’s a couple problems there.  He refuses to learn English, and he’s (whispers) an illegal immigrant.

Me:  (Facepalm)

Bill:  Thanks…Gotta go, Nessie is texting me.   Bye, and thanks!!!

There you have it folks.  Mythical monsters, who have more evidence on their side than does global warming.  This can only happen in the Liberal Zone.

Disclaimer: No mythical creatures were harmed in the writing of this post.

 

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