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Melky Cabrera

Orville Redenbacher Scandal Widens

The controversy surrounding Orville Redenbacher and his iconic brand of popcorn grows deeper with each stunning revelation. The scandal first erupted when several college students made trips to emergency rooms complaining that they couldn’t sleep, were nervous, couldn’t concentrate and that their testicles had dropped off. “At first we though they were Business Administration majors because, you know, like capitalism is evil” said one ER doctor. But then more people from different walks of life started complaining of the same symptoms. Doctors from the Center for Disease Control arrived to conduct an investigation.  What they found surprised and troubled them. Before […]