Greatest Hits: I’m a democrat; You Owe Me

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I’m a Democrat; You Owe Me:  Snarky Basterd took a shot at democrats, and did not miss.

I’m a democrat. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have my own pile of money, but I want yours, too, including the four pennies you have rattling around in the bottom of that peanut butter jar you frugal idiots like to use as a change holder. Give it up! You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I just say I like the public school system. My kids go to private schools so that your kids can go to public schools and learn how to be good little democrats like me. When my kids grow up and become better members of a collectivist society, and your kids grow up confused, my kids will get government jobs and take more money and freedom from your kids. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have a job with health insurance, but I think it’s everyone else’s fault when I get sick and have to cut back on my lifestyle so I can pay for health care that should be free, along with cars and houses and big screen TVs. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. There is no god. You can go ahead and get down on your knees and pray to the ceiling for forgiveness and strength and peace, but I’ll be standing right behind you with a tire iron, bashing your skull and stealing your wallet. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I hate people. I would rather sleep with my dog or a cucumber or a tree than with another person…unless I can just dump them on the curb after we’re through. You just have sex to make more people so you can continue to earn more money while you rape the planet. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I love taxes. It’s patriotic…for you…to pay them. I don’t pay any, anyway. And if I have to, I’ve figured out loop holes or have offshore accounts to shelter my money, so the government never really gets too much from me anyway. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. It’s not only my right but also my duty to take freedom and representative republicanism from you, little by little, and replace it with government bureaucracy. From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. I’m needy. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have a $20 million vacation playground on Martha’s Vineyard and a guarded compound in South Chicago and belong to the richest majority in Washington’s history. But I hate rich people who aren’t democrats and want your property too so I can save endangered swamp rats and build turtle tunnels and fix toilets. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. There are more of you than there are of me. You breathe too much. I’ve told the world outlandish lies that you’re causing global warming, using faulty correlations to get everyone so worried they’re about to let me tax thin air. And you’ll breathe a lot less. You owe me.

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I’m a democrat. I’m an elitist. I’m perfect. I’m not like all of you stupid wingnuts out there working your greedy little fingers to the bone trying to make a little money and feed your family and have something to call successful when you retire. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I live in the city so I can get stupid drunk and piss on the streets when I want and kick your parked car when it gets in my way. It’s too bad that you have all those guns in your humble suburban and country homes. If you didn’t, I’d come and toss you out on your naked ass and make you live in the fetid cities that my government policies screwed up. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I think you hate homosexuals. I have no idea that you just want to be left alone and live your life the way you see fit and not have your children taught with government money that they should seek alternative lifestyles for the fun of it. I just want you to do what I think you should do with your life. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m so tolerant I can’t tolerate anyone who doesn’t think the way I do. In fact, I hate white people. I hate all people. I hate myself. I hate myself so much that I hate you even more when you are happy. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I don’t know how to do anything for myself. I need to be told what to do. I don’t think human beings are capable of taking care of themselves. That’s what government is for. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I don’t think any people should have rights. I think fish and frogs and grass should, however, and I want to represent them in court…and you to pay for it. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m a child. I act like a child and I think like a child and I live like a child and I throw up my hands and have little fits when I don’t get my way. There should be no consequences for anything I do. But there should be consequences for you, even if you’re blameless in what I accuse you of. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m racist but I get others to think that you are racist just because I call you one. It’s a riot to watch you squirm because I know you have a conscience. I do not. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I was born poor or middle class or rich, but it doesn’t matter. I was born black or white or Asian or Latina, but it still doesn’t matter. In fact, it’s Bush’s fault that I was even allowed to be born at all. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I want health care at your expense, while I’m young and virulent and child-like. But then I want you to kill me when I start to get old and weak and feeble, so that all of my young and virulent and child-like democrat friends can have health care at your expense.

Then I want to come back to life as a rock, so lots of birds can shit on me. They owe me, too, for being a loony moonbat.

Previously posted at Feed Your ADHD.

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Leftist moonbats on Parade: Harrass Mineworkers, Steal Camera

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Democrat Moonbat Seal

Brave moonbats always wear masks, and steal cameras.  

My hat’s off to the workers, who kept their composure.  Though, I don’t get why the moodbats would take the camera off the workers, and then post their own on Facebook?

Cowardly and stupid, if you ask me.

Linked at Theo Spark.  Thanks to Wyblog’s Chris for linking us up there!

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When Moonbats Attack: Cultural Marxists Argue to Assert Who is the Greatest Victim

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zombiesdemocrats

Take a look at the following video, as the moonbats argue to vie over the greater slice of the victim pie.  Apparently, their victim-hood is just like their economic model, and it’s a zero sum game.  There is only so much victimization to go around, so they have to fight and struggle their greater slice of the victim-hood pie.  Think uber victim.  Try to watch a few minutes…

Ok, there is a lot of screaming and talking in circles, but you get the gist of it.  There was much offense taken, butthurt inflicted, and drama generated.  I particularly enjoyed the part in which they complained that they were being talked over.  As leftists, they ought to know that they is one of their chief tool.  You see, in the world of tolerance and diversity, any opinion other than those held by regressives must be silenced.  Reality cannot intrude on the regressive bubble, so it must be extinguished whenever it occurs.  However, silencing others in the name of tolerance so ingrained in the liberal mind, that it is eventually used against other regressives that are either not tolerant enough, or accidentally spout reality.

Yeah, that’s over nine minutes of your life that you’ll never get back, but it does show you the post-reality world in which we live.

H/T: Breitbart

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Where in the F**k are the Protesters? Libs Upset That There Aren’t Enough Loons in Tampa

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It seems that the lefty loons are a bit demoralized.  As Da Tech Guy keeps pointing out, they are demoralized as hell, run right through them!  And, if this video is any indication, there aren’t all that many to run through anyways.

This is going to become an increasing theme in this election season.  Obama goes to events that are half empty.  The oversampling of Democrats is getting larger and larger, and now, some polls aren’t even publishing internals.  The Democrats are having a massive problem with enthusiasm, to the point that they can’t even muster enough moonbats to disrupt the RNC Convention.  And that, my friends, is a major problem.  It won’t be reported by the MSM, but it is very real, and might spell landslide in November.

H/T:  Gateway Pundit

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Occupy Roundup: Wisconsin Dehumanization, Portland State Adds Revolutionary Marxism Course, Rare Moonbat Sighting

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Did everyone think that I would leave #occupy, AKA: the Occupods, alone?  Fear not my friends, the indoctrinated moonbats that woke up as confused useful idiots will have no reprieve.  There is still a ton of useful idiocy going on out there, and we need to continue displaying it.  So, here is the latest in moonbattery…

First up, the protesters in Wisconsin have decided that people that disagree with them aren’t even human…

Dehumanizing your opposition?  I think we know where that leads.

Then, we see that Portland State has seen an opportunity to recruit occupods for further indoctrination.  

In the event that you think the video is a fake, here is a screen cap from the Portland State website.  

Of course, as the occupods have told the media, they are not Marxists.  But, for not being Marxists, they do have a lot of rhetoric and training that is…well…Marxist!

And finally, we have a rare picture of a moonbat, via The Left Wing Institute for Civil Discourse…

Yes, that is a bat on his forehead.

As always, these people are exposing themselves.  All we have to do is show the world.  That, and it’s fun!

 

 

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Moonbattery: Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer Encourages Bullying?

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I saw this story covered on KDKA out of Pittsburgh, and my initial response was, Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot???  Apparently, the nannies have their panties in a collective bundle over the adventures of that infamous, and much loved, red-nosed reindeer.  Here is that report…

Is that just about the most asinine pile of garbage that you have ever heard? I can’t believe that I actually have to explain this, but the freaking story is about overcoming adversity, and finding one’s place in the world. But, I guess it would be better if Santa HUGGED him? And that it’s bad that Rudolph’s gift turned out to save the day? Think about it though, the fool in the video represents a point of view that everyone who is bullied is a victim, and needs to be coddled, so that they’ll never grow, develop, or become independent. It’s the nanny state in action. If they had their way, Rudolph would have been coddled. The others would have been punished, and forced to let Rudolph participate in all of the reindeer games. The others still would not like him, and he would know it. He would never grow any confidence of his own, and all the children of the world wouldn’t have recieved their toys. But, it would look good, and that’s all the nannies care about. That, and Rudolph would always be dependent, and voting Democrat in every election.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that bullies should be free to terrorize the public, but this report takes it to the extreme. Punish folks for bad behavior, and give everyone a chance to learn and grow. But know this; sometimes adversity forces people to grow, and teaches them to overcome negative circumstances that come-no matter how much nannies try to shield people from life.

No freaking wonder that society is so dysfunctional.

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Classic Snarky: I’m a Democrat-You Owe Me

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Note:  Here is a classic CH 2.0 post from the one and only Snarky Basterd.

I’m a democrat. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have my own pile of money, but I want yours, too, including the four pennies you have rattling around in the bottom of that peanut butter jar you frugal idiots like to use as a change holder. Give it up! You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I just say I like the public school system. My kids go to private schools so that your kids can go to public schools and learn how to be good little democrats like me. When my kids grow up and become better members of a collectivist society, and your kids grow up confused, my kids will get government jobs and take more money and freedom from your kids. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have a job with health insurance, but I think it’s everyone else’s fault when I get sick and have to cut back on my lifestyle so I can pay for health care that should be free, along with cars and houses and big screen TVs. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. There is no god. You can go ahead and get down on your knees and pray to the ceiling for forgiveness and strength and peace, but I’ll be standing right behind you with a tire iron, bashing your skull and stealing your wallet. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I hate people. I would rather sleep with my dog or a cucumber or a tree than with another person…unless I can just dump them on the curb after we’re through. You just have sex to make more people so you can continue to earn more money while you rape the planet. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I love taxes. It’s patriotic…for you…to pay them. I don’t pay any, anyway. And if I have to, I’ve figured out loop holes or have offshore accounts to shelter my money, so the government never really gets too much from me anyway. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. It’s not only my right but also my duty to take freedom and representative republicanism from you, little by little, and replace it with government bureaucracy. From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. I’m needy. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have a $20 million vacation playground on Martha’s Vineyard and a guarded compound in South Chicago and belong to the richest majority in Washington’s history. But I hate rich people who aren’t democrats and want your property too so I can save endangered swamp rats and build turtle tunnels and fix toilets. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. There are more of you than there are of me. You breathe too much. I’ve told the world outlandish lies that you’re causing global warming, using faulty correlations to get everyone so worried they’re about to let me tax thin air. And you’ll breathe a lot less. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m an elitist. I’m perfect. I’m not like all of you stupid wingnuts out there working your greedy little fingers to the bone trying to make a little money and feed your family and have something to call successful when you retire. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I live in the city so I can get stupid drunk and piss on the streets when I want and kick your parked car when it gets in my way. It’s too bad that you have all those guns in your humble suburban and country homes. If you didn’t, I’d come and toss you out on your naked ass and make you live in the fetid cities that my government policies screwed up. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I think you hate homosexuals. I have no idea that you just want to be left alone and live your life the way you see fit and not have your children taught with government money that they should seek alternative lifestyles for the fun of it. I just want you to do what I think you should do with your life. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m so tolerant I can’t tolerate anyone who doesn’t think the way I do. In fact, I hate white people. I hate all people. I hate myself. I hate myself so much that I hate you even more when you are happy. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I don’t know how to do anything for myself. I need to be told what to do. I don’t think human beings are capable of taking care of themselves. That’s what government is for. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I don’t think any people should have rights. I think fish and frogs and grass should, however, and I want to represent them in court…and you to pay for it. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m a child. I act like a child and I think like a child and I live like a child and I throw up my hands and have little fits when I don’t get my way. There should be no consequences for anything I do. But there should be consequences for you, even if you’re blameless in what I accuse you of. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m racist but I get others to think that you are racist just because I call you one. It’s a riot to watch you squirm because I know you have a conscience. I do not. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I was born poor or middle class or rich, but it doesn’t matter. I was born black or white or Asian or Latina, but it still doesn’t matter. In fact, it’s Bush’s fault that I was even allowed to be born at all. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I want health care at your expense, while I’m young and virulent and child-like. But then I want you to kill me when I start to get old and weak and feeble, so that all of my young and virulent and child-like democrat friends can have health care at your expense.

Then I want to come back to life as a rock, so lots of birds can shit on me. They owe me, too, for being a loony moonbat.

Previously posted at Feed Your ADHD.

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Some Thoughts on the "Occupy Wall Street" Protests

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I’ve been following the moonbat fest in New York, as well as in other locations, though I haven’t written about them until now.  It really started as a non-story, though the MSM and the union bosses seem to be building them up.  So, here are some of my thoughts about them.

I get the impression that they’ve been coached to be very careful about what they say to the media. Let’s look at some general statements, and the CH 2.0 translation.

“Greed”= Communism

“A more equitable system”=Communism

“Democracy”=Communism

“Evil Corporations”=Communism

Am I overgeneralizing?  Perhaps, but from what I have seen and read, these are mostly young, terribly misinformed, and horrifically misguided people.  They either know what they want, and are choosing not to say it openly, or they are the most useful of the useful idiots.  That, and no one is going to take them seriously, other than other misguided and misinformed, useful idiots.  I wonder if they realize that most of them will be killed if they actually get the “more equitable democracy” that they desire?  Obviously not.

They are setting the stage to justify violence by engaging in typical leftist tactics.  They are blocking traffic, trespassing, and generally making a nuisance of themselves.  Then, when the police come to arrest them, they make it as difficult as possible. As soon as the police do a thing, they cry brutality.  Then, they can use this as a justification to gain more followers, as well as for the eventual violence.

Will violence occur?  I’m not sure.  However, I have spotted some anarchists in their midst (not that it’s that hard).  As we all know, anarchists are well known for their violence.  Also, big labor is now supporting them, and they are very well known for violence.  So, all the parts are in place.  All they need is the match to light the fire.  As I pointed out previously, there seems to be buildup for violence.  The only question is if it reaches critical mass.

There have been a lot of pundits being very dismissive of these protests.  They mention the lack of showers, that some of them have no clue as to why they are there, and that they seem very disorganized.  All of these are at least partially true.  However, we cannot judge them as we judge ourselves, as they are not at all like us.  Most of the readers here are adults, who have families, careers, and a desire not to lose what we have worked so hard to earn. Also, we have a vested interest in human freedom.  We actually believe in the promise of our Republic, and that if it falls, it might be centuries before humanity recovers.  In the end, they aren’t going to understand the need to maintain freedom, and would unwittingly, and gladly give away our freedom to achieve their rather amorphous ends.

Sadly, the protesters have apparently fallen into the trap of believing in the all-powerful state.  To achieve the more “equitable” system that they desire, an immensely powerful government will be needed to confiscate from others to redistribute to others.  There is no other way to accomplish this level of theft.

Also, the protesters do not state what they would do with the individuals that they rob or strip of their freedom.  People will not be willing to give up what they have built or created.  What will be done with them?  Others will not submit to an all-powerful nanny state.  What will the new “order” do with the new “refuseniks?”  What will this new “system” do with people that speak out against the system, or point out the inevitable failures of that state? Any government, given that level of power, will become abusive. History tells us what will happen.  There will be death on a scale that this nation has never seen.

I have seen some suggestions out there as far as infiltrating these protests.  I think that is a fine idea. However, it should not be done in the same way that leftists did when they infiltrated the Tea Party.  Their efforts were false flag-sending in activists to say racist and other outrageous things, so Think Regress could make videos of them.  We don’t need to say outrageous or strange things.  They are doing that all by themselves.  We have no need to help, nor do we need to stoop to their level.  The reason that I suggest infiltration at all is that they are, in my opinion, being very careful with their message.  However, someone wearing a hidden camera or a microphone would be able to get into private conversations with protestors, and record more candid thoughts.  That, my friends, might be a great way to get to the core of these protests.

Well folks, those are my thoughts on the issue.  As always comments are always welcome.

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Video: The War on Walmart

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I actually watched this video the other day and it’s a great example of the choke hold unions have on our free market system.  Now this won’t come as a surprise to many of my readers because since Obama won in 2008 unions have become much bolder in their actions to drive out any competition that threatens their power.  Some of the arguments they make in favor of preventing Walmart from entering into their communities are absolutely absurd and don’t match the facts.  Check out the below video.

As I said the arguments against Walmart are absolutely absurd.  I mean really, a Walmart moving into the area is going the jeopardize children.  After all children will be children and steal from Walmart leading to criminal records.  Well we can’t have that!  Have you ever heard anything so bizarre.  The main reason Walmart is not welcome is because it directly threatens the power or should I say strangle hold they have on these communities.  They want to keep their boot on the throats of the average consumer and create barriers that block free market activities.  How American is that?  How good is this stance for the communities they claim to represent.  The truth is it’s not good.  It’s not good for the free market system and it’s definitely not good for the consumer.  It’s a localized version of protectionism and that’s bad for everyone.  Maybe consumer reports should do a cost analysis report on products that are made or sold under the umbrella of the union.   Now that would be interesting reading.  It’s time we as a nation take a closer look at these unions and their activities.

With federal regulations in place to protect the worker, what purpose do unions really serve anymore?   I’m not sure of any.

Liberty forever, freedom for all!

Original Post: Sentry Journal

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Classic Snarky: I’m a Democrat; You Owe Me

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Editor’s Note: Given the implosion of the left, and their increasingly insane ranting, I’ve been reminded of this post from last October.  So, enjoy this CH 2.0 classic from Snarky Basterd.

I’m a democrat. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have my own pile of money, but I want yours, too, including the four pennies you have rattling around in the bottom of that peanut butter jar you frugal idiots like to use as a change holder. Give it up! You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I just say I like the public school system. My kids go to private schools so that your kids can go to public schools and learn how to be good little democrats like me. When my kids grow up and become better members of a collectivist society, and your kids grow up confused, my kids will get government jobs and take more money and freedom from your kids. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have a job with health insurance, but I think it’s everyone else’s fault when I get sick and have to cut back on my lifestyle so I can pay for health care that should be free, along with cars and houses and big screen TVs. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. There is no god. You can go ahead and get down on your knees and pray to the ceiling for forgiveness and strength and peace, but I’ll be standing right behind you with a tire iron, bashing your skull and stealing your wallet. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I hate people. I would rather sleep with my dog or a cucumber or a tree than with another person…unless I can just dump them on the curb after we’re through. You just have sex to make more people so you can continue to earn more money while you rape the planet. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I love taxes. It’s patriotic…for you…to pay them. I don’t pay any, anyway. And if I have to, I’ve figured out loop holes or have offshore accounts to shelter my money, so the government never really gets too much from me anyway. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. It’s not only my right but also my duty to take freedom and representative republicanism from you, little by little, and replace it with government bureaucracy. From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. I’m needy. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have a $20 million vacation playground on Martha’s Vineyard and a guarded compound in South Chicago and belong to the richest majority in Washington’s history. But I hate rich people who aren’t democrats and want your property too so I can save endangered swamp rats and build turtle tunnels and fix toilets. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. There are more of you than there are of me. You breathe too much. I’ve told the world outlandish lies that you’re causing global warming, using faulty correlations to get everyone so worried they’re about to let me tax thin air. And you’ll breathe a lot less. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m an elitist. I’m perfect. I’m not like all of you stupid wingnuts out there working your greedy little fingers to the bone trying to make a little money and feed your family and have something to call successful when you retire. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I live in the city so I can get stupid drunk and piss on the streets when I want and kick your parked car when it gets in my way. It’s too bad that you have all those guns in your humble suburban and country homes. If you didn’t, I’d come and toss you out on your naked a** and make you live in the fetid cities that my government policies screwed up. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I think you hate homosexuals. I have no idea that you just want to be left alone and live your life the way you see fit and not have your children taught with government money that they should seek alternative lifestyles for the fun of it. I just want you to do what I think you should do with your life. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m so tolerant I can’t tolerate anyone who doesn’t think the way I do. In fact, I hate white people. I hate all people. I hate myself. I hate myself so much that I hate you even more when you are happy. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I don’t know how to do anything for myself. I need to be told what to do. I don’t think human beings are capable of taking care of themselves. That’s what government is for. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I don’t think any people should have rights. I think fish and frogs and grass should, however, and I want to represent them in court…and you to pay for it. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m a child. I act like a child and I think like a child and I live like a child and I throw up my hands and have little fits when I don’t get my way. There should be no consequences for anything I do. But there should be consequences for you, even if you’re blameless in what I accuse you of. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m racist but I get others to think that you are racist just because I call you one. It’s a riot to watch you squirm because I know you have a conscience. I do not. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I was born poor or middle class or rich, but it doesn’t matter. I was born black or white or Asian or Latina, but it still doesn’t matter. In fact, it’s Bush’s fault that I was even allowed to be born at all. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I want health care at your expense, while I’m young and virulent and child-like. But then I want you to kill me when I start to get old and weak and feeble, so that all of my young and virulent and child-like democrat friends can have health care at your expense.

Then I want to come back to life as a rock, so lots of birds can sh*t on me. They owe me, too, for being a loony moonbat.

Previously posted at Feed Your ADHD.

Image H/T:  Right in a Left World

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The Consipracy Theory Mad Lib

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The reaction to the Tin Foil Hat Alert Post far exceeded my expectations.  I posted the thing just to post it.  The reaction was inspiring.  So, I decided to make a Mad lib out of it.  Enjoy!

Mad:)Glibs - free online Mad Libs
CH 2.0 Conspiracy Theory

NOUN
NOUN
NOUN
NOUN
NOUN
VERB
NOUN
NOUN
NOUN PLURAL
NOUN
NOUN
VERB
PLACE
NOUN
VERB
VERB
VERB
NOUN
NOUN
NOUN
NOUN
NOUN
THE SINGLE MOST COSTLY, DEADLY AND DANGEROUS [NOUN
PLACE

Mad lib code can be found at Mad Glibs.

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I’m a Democrat; You Owe Me

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I’m a democrat. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have my own pile of money, but I want yours, too, including the four pennies you have rattling around in the bottom of that peanut butter jar you frugal idiots like to use as a change holder. Give it up! You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I just say I like the public school system. My kids go to private schools so that your kids can go to public schools and learn how to be good little democrats like me. When my kids grow up and become better members of a collectivist society, and your kids grow up confused, my kids will get government jobs and take more money and freedom from your kids. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have a job with health insurance, but I think it’s everyone else’s fault when I get sick and have to cut back on my lifestyle so I can pay for health care that should be free, along with cars and houses and big screen TVs. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. There is no god. You can go ahead and get down on your knees and pray to the ceiling for forgiveness and strength and peace, but I’ll be standing right behind you with a tire iron, bashing your skull and stealing your wallet. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I hate people. I would rather sleep with my dog or a cucumber or a tree than with another person…unless I can just dump them on the curb after we’re through. You just have sex to make more people so you can continue to earn more money while you rape the planet. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I love taxes. It’s patriotic…for you…to pay them. I don’t pay any, anyway. And if I have to, I’ve figured out loop holes or have offshore accounts to shelter my money, so the government never really gets too much from me anyway. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. It’s not only my right but also my duty to take freedom and representative republicanism from you, little by little, and replace it with government bureaucracy. From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. I’m needy. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I have a $20 million vacation playground on Martha’s Vineyard and a guarded compound in South Chicago and belong to the richest majority in Washington’s history. But I hate rich people who aren’t democrats and want your property too so I can save endangered swamp rats and build turtle tunnels and fix toilets. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. There are more of you than there are of me. You breathe too much. I’ve told the world outlandish lies that you’re causing global warming, using faulty correlations to get everyone so worried they’re about to let me tax thin air. And you’ll breathe a lot less. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m an elitist. I’m perfect. I’m not like all of you stupid wingnuts out there working your greedy little fingers to the bone trying to make a little money and feed your family and have something to call successful when you retire. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I live in the city so I can get stupid drunk and piss on the streets when I want and kick your parked car when it gets in my way. It’s too bad that you have all those guns in your humble suburban and country homes. If you didn’t, I’d come and toss you out on your naked ass and make you live in the fetid cities that my government policies screwed up. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I think you hate homosexuals. I have no idea that you just want to be left alone and live your life the way you see fit and not have your children taught with government money that they should seek alternative lifestyles for the fun of it. I just want you to do what I think you should do with your life. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m so tolerant I can’t tolerate anyone who doesn’t think the way I do. In fact, I hate white people. I hate all people. I hate myself. I hate myself so much that I hate you even more when you are happy. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I don’t know how to do anything for myself. I need to be told what to do. I don’t think human beings are capable of taking care of themselves. That’s what government is for. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I don’t think any people should have rights. I think fish and frogs and grass should, however, and I want to represent them in court…and you to pay for it. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m a child. I act like a child and I think like a child and I live like a child and I throw up my hands and have little fits when I don’t get my way. There should be no consequences for anything I do. But there should be consequences for you, even if you’re blameless in what I accuse you of. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I’m racist but I get others to think that you are racist just because I call you one. It’s a riot to watch you squirm because I know you have a conscience. I do not. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I was born poor or middle class or rich, but it doesn’t matter. I was born black or white or Asian or Latina, but it still doesn’t matter. In fact, it’s Bush’s fault that I was even allowed to be born at all. You owe me.

I’m a democrat. I want health care at your expense, while I’m young and virulent and child-like. But then I want you to kill me when I start to get old and weak and feeble, so that all of my young and virulent and child-like democrat friends can have health care at your expense.

Then I want to come back to life as a rock, so lots of birds can shit on me. They owe me, too, for being a loony moonbat.

Previously posted at Feed Your ADHD.

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