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Willie Wonka Shuts Down his Chocolate Factory

Famed billionaire industrialist Willie Wonka has shut down his chocolate factory, throwing hundreds of Oompa-Loompas out of work and denying children throughout the world his candy bars. “I didn’t have much of a choice” said Wonka. The EPA was coming after me. The government raised my taxes because they wanted me to pay my “fair share” whatever the hell that means.  With the health reform law taking effect I had to pay a fine if I didn’t give the Oompa-Loompas birth control.  I tell you it’s just a mess.  And I’m not the only one who feels that way.  I’ve […]