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Santa

NORAD Tracks Santa: 2013

For over five decades, NORAD has tracked Santa for children all over the US, and now, the world. For more than 50 years, NORAD and its predecessor, the Continental Air Defense Command (CONAD) have tracked Santa’s flight. The tradition began in 1955 after a Colorado Springs-based Sears Roebuck & Co. advertisement misprinted the telephone number for children to call Santa. Instead of reaching Santa, the phone number put kids through to the CONAD Commander-in-Chief’s operations “hotline.” The Director of Operations at the time, Colonel Harry Shoup, had his staff check the radar for indications of Santa making his way south […]

Santa Declares Bankruptcy

I need capital! Santa Claus, founder and CEO of Santa Claus Industries, has announced that he will be filing for chapter 11. With liabilities of over 300,000 million and assets of only $1,245 Santa says that he really has no choice. “The business has changed” said Santa. It used to be I was the only game in town.  And I was younger and had a good time delivering presents to all the boys and girls.  But lately?  The competition from Amazon is killing me.  And I’m older too. Last year I wasn’t able to finish Christmas until December 27th.  I […]

Brutal Civil War Rages on Island of Misfit Toys

For years Santa had stopped at the Island of Misfit Toys.  But no more. “I wouldn’t go near that place anymore” said Santa.  “It’s more dangerous than Mexico, Afghanistan or Detroit.” The culprit is politics.  For years the Island of Misfit Toys had been ruled by King Moonracer (pictured here), an absolute, hereditary monarch.  But not all were happy with his rule.  Chief among them was Charlie-in-the-Box (seen here.) Charlie, who sees himself as the Island’s resident intellectual, had taken to reading the Federalist Papers and the Declaration of Independence.  Dissatisfied with his position as a subject he began to push for more […]