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Suicide

Three Charged with Child Porn, Dead in Triple Murder Suicide Pact

Three individuals, having been charged with possession of child pornography in Tennessee, are dead in what is described as a “triple murder-suicide pact.”  CNN has more, via The Other McCain… So, these folks are discovered to have child porn on their computers. They were charged with the crime. They had no yet gone to trial when they wrote letters declaring their innocence, and ended their lives. Frankly, that doesn’t sound like the acts of innocent people.  As the law enforcement official at the end of the video pointed out, “criminality was their bond.”  That phrase brings to mind some folks […]

USA R.I.P. Was it Suicide, Murder or Stupidity?

Well, the United States of America isn’t dead yet, but she seems to be getting weaker by the day. If she does die, it will not be due to natural causes. Nations don’t die from natural causes. They either commit suicide or they are murdered. America is gravely injured. Are they self-inflicted wounds or is someone trying to kill her? Suicide is a conscious act, where as murder can be either intentional or unintentional. So, which is the case for our beloved America? Some days I am convinced she is committing suicide by way of death of a thousand self-inflicted […]

Bluebird of Happiness Commits Suicide

The Bluebird of happiness is dead, the victim of an apparent suicide. Known throughout the world as a symbol of cheerfulness, happiness, hearth and home, good health, new birth and the renewal of spring time, the Bluebird of happiness hid a dark side. “The bird had issues” said his grief-stricken agent.  “OCD, substance abuse, failed marriages, unfulfilling relationships with his children. You name it.  The kid had it.” Sources close to the bird say he had a fragile emotional makeup that shattered under the pressure of expectations.  His behavior as of late had become erratic and his blog entries had grown nonsensical.  […]

Occupy Burlington Fatal Shooting

I’ve been having a great deal of fun at the expense of the Occupods, but the following story is not at all amusing.  What we do know is that 35 year-old male died of a gunshot wound.  Here is more from FOX News… BURLINGTON, Vt. –  A 35-year-old man died Thursday from a gunshot wound sustained at the “Occupy Burlington” encampment, but the circumstances surrounding the shooting were unclear, the Burlington Free Press reported. … Several protesters and a camp organizer said they believe the man shot himself, according to the Free Press and WPTZ-TV. It’s sad that there have […]

Klingon Fired from Suicide Prevention Hotline

Gor Khan, a 37 year old Klingon working at a local suicide prevention hotline has been fired after it was discovered that his “call disposition” actually led to suicides. “I blame myself for hiring him” said supervisor Greg Hughes.  “He seemed like he really wanted to help.  But the poor guy just didn’t have the right bedside manner, so to speak.” After being hired, Khan underwent the mandatory one-day training where he  learned how to deal with potential suicides and then was given a cubicle to begin work. “The trouble began with his first call” said Hughes.  A transcript of that […]